All work and no play? Even in today’s topsy-turvy world, you can still find your equilibrium
DURING A RECENT ROUTINE PHYSICAL, as the nurse was checking my blood pressure I said, “It’s probably higher than it should be because I’m kind of stressed out.” While she squeezed the cuff, I tried not to think about the work waiting at my desk, my responsibilities at home and the huge project I’m involved in at my local community theater.
The nurse smiled at me sympathetically and replied, “Everyone is feeling that way these days.”
She’s absolutely right, of course. Susan Bartell, Psy.D., a New York-based psychologist and author specializing in work-life balance, says people are finding it much harder to achieve a balance between their professional and personal lives.
“People are afraid of losing their jobs, or they’re feeling guilty because the guy who was with the company for 20 years just got laid off,” Dr. Bartell explains. “They feel like they need to work harder to keep their jobs or make more money, but they still want to be there for their kid’s Little League game, too.”
Achieving a healthy work-life balance has definitely become a juggling act that’s more difficult than ever to pull off. At my doctor’s office, I was frankly surprised that my blood pressure was only slightly elevated. But maybe it was because I’d started trying some of the techniques I learned while researching this story.
Draw the Line
In many ways, creating a healthy work-life balance is about setting boundaries.
“When you’re at work, work—the more time you spend being distracted by gossip or personal e-mails, the later you’ll have to work,” says Dr. Bartell. “And when you’re home with your family, be fully focused on your family. Be present and in the moment wherever you are.”
Dr. Bartell suggests turning off your PDA before you walk into your house. Otherwise, she says, you don’t ever get a chance to de-stress and recharge. Plus, you’re not giving your personal relationships your full attention, which is bad for your relationships and your own state of mind.
“Spending time with people you love fosters feelings of happiness and high self-worth,” Dr. Bartell says. “And don’t waste precious free time with people you don’t like.”
Do the Math
People are watching every nickel these days, but that isn’t always the best work-life balance strategy, says psychologist Debra Condren, Ph.D., author of Ambition Is Not a Dirty Word (Broadway Books).
“You might feel like you shouldn’t pay someone to do work you could do,” she explains. “But you might actually be losing money by doing the work yourself instead of hiring someone to do tasks like cleaning your house.”
Dr. Condren suggests estimating how much you make per hour at work. Chances are, you could pay someone a lot less to run errands and do chores for you, which means more time to spend with family and friends, pursue business opportunities or just take a break.
Give Yourself Some “Me” Time
An important element of achieving a healthy work-life balance is taking good care of yourself. Dr. Bartell suggests eating right, getting plenty of sleep and practicing brief relaxation techniques throughout the day.
“It can be as simple as taking four or five really deep breaths every hour,” she explains. “Everyone can do that.”
Massage therapy can also be very helpful, Dr. Bartell adds. “Anything that can help relax you and make you feel like you’re nurturing yourself is beneficial,” she says.
Sounds good to me. In fact, I think I’ll schedule a massage for myself. As soon as I finish writing this story, that is.
—By Amy Lynn Smith