
A positive mindset can help change your view
of any situation
Thanks to a recent bestseller, the power of positive thinking is no longer a secret. Some experts suggest that the way we look at a situation— whether it's fear of catching the cold going around or disappointment about getting passed over for a promotion—will determine how quickly we can overcome it.
Licensed psychologist Marci Fox, Ph.D., coauthor of the book Think Confident, Be Confident (Perigee, 2009), offers up these five ways to give negative thinking the boot:
Doubts cannot be trusted. Imagine you're at a party, says Fox, and you're intimidated by the crowd. "You start to have thoughts like, 'I don't measure up to these people.' So you shrink into the background. Instead, look at the facts. "Say to yourself, 'What evidence do I have that this is true? None. I was invited to this party.'" Once you recognize the thought isn't true, you can throw it out.
You are the whole package. Make a list of your strong physical assets, your positive personality traits, your skills and experience. Then, says Fox, you'll have confidence to come prepared to any situation.
Gosh darn it, you deserve it. It may sound cheesy, but you matter, too. If your mind is overwhelmed with a must-do list the length of your arm, it might be time to make a want-to-do list. "Be able to say, 'I deserve this,'" says Fox, who recommends mind-quieting things such as preparing your favorite meal, reading a magazine, getting a massage or planning your next vacation.
Give yourself some credit. While we're on the topic of to-do lists, Fox recommends making a daily credit list. "Name five things you were able to accomplish for the day," she says. It'll end the day on a high-note instead of a defeated one.
It's not all about you. So you're on your way to a cheery new outlook. Except then, your best friend snaps at you and you nose-dive into self-doubt. It's all about how you perceive it, says Fox. "You can't assume that he or she is mad at you. Other people are going through other things. You're not responsible for making them happy."
—By Amanda Myers