Teach yourself to be happier, even when times are tough

If the gloomy economic climate is dragging your morale lower than the Dow Jones Industrial Average, you have plenty of company. We’ve been barraged for months with depressing news about defrauded investors, mortgage foreclosures, bankruptcies, employee layoffs and companies that have gone belly-up.

Chances are that you know someone who has lost his or her job or home or is pinching pennies to get by. That someone might even be you.

Feeling more optimistic when the economy is so bleak may seem like a lost cause. But surprisingly, researchers have found that adopting a more upbeat attitude is a skill that, like playing guitar or skiing, can be learned through practice.

Caroline Adams Miller, who holds a master’s degree in applied positive psychology, says she’s confident that people can teach themselves to get more pleasure from life, regardless of their circumstances. “This is all about rolling up your sleeves in the service of happiness,” she says.

An Attitude of Gratitude

One of the easiest and most effective paths to a happier life is to develop an attitude of gratitude. It’s no coincidence that giving thanks is a foundation of prayer in every religion and culture.

Expressing appreciation requires you to take stock of the blessings in your life, which in turn reminds you to acknowledge that so much good regularly comes your way.

If you’re stuck on what exactly to be grateful for, take a few seconds before you get out of bed each morning to value the potential in each new day, suggests Gloria J. Burgess, a Seattle-based leadership development expert. Tell yourself, “I’m grateful to be here,” and you’ll find that thought will improve how you treat yourself and others.

Another way to help yourself be more upbeat even in trying times is to schedule pleasurable activities. Those anticipated events don’t have to be costly or exotic, but they do need to be a welcome break in your routine. They can be as simple as lunch with a girlfriend at your favorite bistro or a stroll through the farmers market for fresh strawberries. “If I want to have a good day,” Miller says, “I’ll put a massage on my calendar for a week out.”

Schedulers reap a twofold benefit, she notes. They get a rush of happiness anticipating the enjoyable event, and they then savor the activity as it happens.

Help Yourself by Helping Others

While nurturing your own mind and body is one surefire method of staying upbeat, it’s only a piece in the bigger picture of happiness. Reaching out to others is a powerful mood-lifter, especially when you’re connecting with those who benefit from your efforts. “Doing good for someone raises the giver’s spirit,” Burgess says. “There’s always someone out there who needs what you have.”

Consider volunteering at a pet shelter, library, local school or soup kitchen. Or ask at your community center if you can aid homebound senior citizens by driving them on errands. Fostering personal connections turns out to be a powerful antidote to the self-absorption that can obsess us during trying times.

There’s another benefit to community service, says Miller, who lives in Bethesda, Md. The good feelings that blossom in you as you reach out actually rub off on others. Known as “social contagion theory,” this principle says that moods, like colds, are easily transmitted between family members, colleagues and friends.

“The people closest to you are predictors of who you’ll become,” Miller says.

So it’s no wonder that a diet of depressing news or too much time with trash-talking friends can make us feel defeated as well. But the flip side is, thankfully, true too: Even when times are tough, we can create a more upbeat reality for ourselves, and that optimism is equally infectious.
—By June D. Bell