The Art of Doing Nothing
Carve out time to disconnect and enjoy some peace of mind
IMAGINE YOUR FAMILY having absolutely nothing to
do. No activities or obligations to meet. No mom's group, dance
lessons or soccer practice to attend.
It would be nearly impossible for many to grasp the concept of
an empty calendar. Yet those families who live in the fast lane are
missing an important planning detail: time for peace of mind.
One reason families can't decompress is that society- and
parents-feed the myth that a full schedule is the path to success,
according to John Duffy, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and author
or The Available Parent (Viva Editions, 2011). "Without downtime,
kids become anxious, depressed and burned out. And parents, who are
shuttling kids back and forth, end up living vicariously through
them," he says.
While activities can build confidence and self-esteem in
children, being overbooked prevents them from being truly
independent individuals who are capable of being alone, adds Dr.
Duffy.
To restore balance, he suggests parents first take a look at
their own behaviors and be good role models. "Parents are the
frenetic ones," he says. "Evaluate how you lead your lives." Next,
pay attention to what kids say. "If we listen to children, they cue
us on how to be calmer."
Dr. Duffy also suggests that families carve out regular calendar
space for a day of mental health, like Saturdays. Eliminating even
one commitment has tremendous value. "Hang out, play with each
other, sit around in your PJs and reestablish a connection," he
says. "What's important is to teach children that it's OK to do
nothing-and to just be."
-By Sally J. Clasen