Ties that Bond
Schedule some "ME" time with your mom and watch your friendship
bloom
THE LIFELONG BOND between mothers and daughters
often starts in the womb, frays-maybe just a little-in adolescence,
and strengthens again during adulthood. While no two journeys are
exactly alike, shared experiences and traditions can strengthen the
connection between mothers and daughters. Scheduling regular "ME"
time with your mom is a great way to connect as friends-and to
disconnect from the daily grind. Not only will you nurture your
relationship, but you might also find improved health and
happiness. Consider these ties that bond:
Travel. Moms and little girls may bond at local
attractions, such as the American Girl store or a children's
theater production. As adults, your options are grown-up and
unlimited. "Everyone is so over-programmed with busy schedules,
texting and Twitter," says "The Travel Mom" Emily Kaufman, a book
author who has shared her insights on national television. Her
advice? "Slow down and reconnect on vacation." Whether you live in
the same town or different time zones, plan a trip that suits your
personalities. "If you're adrenaline junkies, wine tasting might
not be as good as tandem skydiving."
Volunteer. A growing body of scientific research
shows that helping others can make you happier and healthier. In
fact, a report released by the Corporation for National and
Community Service, in Washington, D.C., shows that volunteers live
longer with higher functional ability, and have lower rates of
depression and less heart disease. So, whether you can stock
shelves, tutor underprivileged kids or walk dogs at the animal
shelter, grab mom and volunteer.
Take a class. Maybe you and mom always dreamed of
learning to paint. Or improving your culinary skills. Or finally
getting fit. Take a class together! You can even audit a college
class together, enlarging your view of each other and the world.
Talk about your class over coffee. (Of course, if you're enrolled
in a yoga class, you'll want to skip the double-whip topping.)
Take care of each other. Treat each other to a
monthly Swedish
massage date. "Our best days in Lubbock have been spa days,"
says Kaufman, whose 18-year-old daughter attends Texas Tech
University. Though they can't always go together, Kaufman doesn't
let distance deter her from "sharing" a favorite activity. "I
actually bought my daughter a gift certificate to Massage Envy the
last time I was there." Over time, massage therapy may feel less
like a special treat and more like essential health maintenance
once you realize its health benefits, such as stress
relief, pain relief and
improved immunity.
Read a book together. In 1997, author Shireen
Dodson resonated with a generation of American moms when she wrote
The Mother-Daughter Book Club. Together, 10 adolescent girls and
their moms tackled the heady topics of relationships, dating,
bullying and death. Oprah even aired one of their meetings. "We
still read the same books sometimes," Dodson says of her oldest
daughter, Morgan, now 25. "It helps our friendship and gives us a
basis to discuss issues," she says, adding that a shared discussion
of books can be well-suited for long-distance mother-daughter
duos.
Journal together. If you really want to go deeper,
share a journal. Take turns writing entries about your lives or
important world events. This can also work for moms and daughters
separated by distance. (To keep shipping costs down, buy two
journals and e-mail your entries to each other.) Your accumulated
outpouring of thoughts will create a lifelong heirloom for you-and
for the daughters and granddaughters who bond long after you. In
the end, whether you share a journal or an afternoon, simply making
time for each other may help you do more than bond. It may help you
bloom.
-By Laurie Davies