Coupled Up
Quality time with your sweetheart is just what the relationship
doctor ordered
- Christina Vanoverbeke
VALENTINE'S DAY is just around the corner and
to celebrate, many couples will be scrambling to plan the perfect
romantic evening for their partner. Whether you look forward to
Cupid's arrival each winter or not, relationship experts say
planning quality time with a special someone can strengthen a
relationship and bring couples closer together, no matter the
occasion.
The first thing to remember when setting aside time for amore is
that there is no one magic way to spend time with your sweetie,
says Jonathan Alpert, a New York-based psychotherapist and author
of Be Fearless: Change Your Life in 28 Days. Different things will
work for different couples, so try out some ideas until you find
something that works for you.
BREAK OUT OF THE DATE NIGHT RUT
"I recommend that couples plan a date night early in
the week for the end of the week. This will provide you with
something to look forward to and it eliminates any questions or
anxiety as to whether there are plans or not in
place," Alpert says. When looking around for what
exactly to do during that date night, be sure you're open to trying
something new.
Research consistently shows that couples who engage in fresh
activities together are happier in their relationships than couples
who do more everyday activities, says Brent Mattingly, assistant
professor of psychology at Ashland University and a writer for
ScienceOfRelationships.com."Early in the relationship,
there is a lot of novelty and excitement-we are learning lots of
new and interesting things about our partners, and we are doing
lots of things we may have never tried
before," he says. People tend to enjoy the feeling of
falling in love because they feel so much exhilaration during these
early relationship experiences. Once in love, however, some of this
novelty begins to wear off for many couples.
KEEP THINGS FRESH
It's not hard to mix up the usual date night; all it takes are a
few small tweaks. For instance, instead of going to your favorite
restaurant again, why not get your order to go and have a picnic at
your favorite park? Do you both love hiking? Try an indoor rock gym
for a more adrenaline-pumping twist. Organize surprise dates for
each other and don't give away details until you're there. From a
dessert-making class to the batting cage, try to think what the
other person would have the most fun doing and plan it for
them.
"Doing new, exciting and interesting things together
helps simulate these early relationship experiences, which in turn
helps keep the relationship fresh," Mattingly
says."Because of this, relationships will benefit more
from a couple taking a class together than going to the movies
again and again."